Why Do People Emotionally Withdraw?

Why do people emotionally withdraw from relationships and interactions with others?

According to Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W.'s article Pulling back? Withdrawing? 5 possible reasons why,
supports that:

1. Depression 
2. Avoidance 
3. Anger 
4. Burnout and
5. Reflection

are the most probable reasons why someone withdraws. 

He also states that withdrawal does not only occur in intimate relationships but in the workplace too, i.e. trying to avoid a colleague you do not get along with. 

Taibbi also provides some solutions for when we start emotionally withdrawing. 

He supports that if we withdraw because of :

1. Depression: we need to find ways to quite our inner critical voices.
2. Avoidance: We need to be brave and step up
3. Anger: We need to acknowledge it and accept it
4. Burnout: We need to take a break
5. Reflection: Take the time to go on long walks, look at the big picture and set your goals.

Peg Streep in her article The Most Toxic Pattern in Any Relationship, talks about intimate relationships and how withdrawal occurs between couples. 

She states that the usual path is a Demand/Withdrawal pattern where according to research the demand part is usually attributed to women and the withdrawal to men. 

She also adds that in a relationship with an imbalance of power, the lesser powerful member will often find him/her self in the demanding role.

When the more powerful does not listen to the lesser powerful’s demands, the more he/she will withdraw.

‘Securely attached people who are emotionally confident, accustomed to being both loved and valued, and who believe in their own worthiness tend not to engage in the pattern.’ states Peg Streep.

The powerful one will see discussion as a battlefield since it is threatening to them. As a result, withdrawal will spark an increase in demand.

Even though withdrawing seems to be negative most of the times, it can also be beneficial when we take this opportunity to reflect, to go inwards so that our outward lives can better reflect who we are!

©2019