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Our Relationship With Ourselves


Our relationship with ourselves is probably the most difficult and at the same time, most important relationship we need to cultivate. 

Taking ourselves out for a coffee, or meditating, or exercising are some important elements that contribute to a healthy self care routine, however there are many layers we need to uncover and work on. 

Jill B. Weber Phd in her article "4 Ways to Cultivate a Relationship with Yourself" states that we need to:

  • Firstly, notice ourselves. We need to ask ourselves how we are feeling, how are we coping and really paying attention to what is really going on around us. 

  • Secondly she states that we need to make sure we associate ourselves with people that bring out the best in us, that encourage us and are fun to be around. This approach will remind us of the person we want to be. 

  • Thirdly, we need to be present in our body through meditation and by taking deep breaths. We will learn to calm our body and mind and have a fresh look and perspective on things. 

  • Lastly, we need to learn to be grateful. Either through journaling or writing a list of things we are grateful for, daily.. 

Grant Hilary Brenner MD in his article "12 Keys to a Great Self-relationship, Starting now" also states that in order to cultivate a healthy relationship with ourselves we need to:

  • Set our goals (look ahead)

  • Plan short, middle and long term action

  • Be curious and willing to accept yourself

  • Prioritize your self-care

  • Be kind to yourself (and I cannot stress that enough)

  • Surround yourself with like minded people

  • Accept your errors and don't be a perfectionist

  • Learn how to handle your emotions and self in difficult situations

  • Be active 

  • Cultivate good habits

  • Speak kindly to yourself

  • Do not be selfish

Cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves, needs a lot of work. We need to love our strengths while at the same time face, accept and work on our weaknesses and problematic behaviours. 

We are the ones responsible for our own happiness!

How unfair is it, to put the pressure on other people, to serve and make us happy.

Once we learn to love ourselves, we will then be better friends, colleagues, partners etc.


Acknowledging our 'faults' is not a sign of weakness. Working on our 'faults' is not a sign of weakness.

These are the biggest signs of self love!


#self-love

© 2022

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