"I really need someone to hug me, hold me tight and tell me that everything is going to be ok" - These were her thoughts while walking in nature early in the morning. Trying to clear her mind, put her thoughts in order. Keep some distance and think things over.
The past two weeks have been really difficult for her. She has been struggling to handle her thoughts and emotions.
She picked up the pace. She had earphones on, listening to music trying to make sense of everything.
- What am I doing wrong?
- Why do I deserve this?
- Why do I allow myself to be victimised by another?
- Why do I give the power to another to hurt me that much?
She was trying. She really was. Her small steps that seemed so irrelevant to others were gigantic to her.
She didn't want to give him the permission to come close to her, that easily. She wanted him to earn it! But this is not what he is used to.
She was replaying the images in her head, she felt the same painful feelings, she thought of the way she talked to him.
- Why did I allow myself to drop down to his level?
- Why did I allow myself to talk to him that way?
- Why did I give him the pleasure to see how much he hurt me?
"A heart that hurts is a heart that works. From a broken place that's where the victory is won" - "We Are The People" by Martin Garrix.
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