Why do people manipulate others?
According to Gary Drevitch's article in Psychology Today entitled "3 Reasons People Become Manipulative", states that people manipulate others in order to excess their power.
He also adds that manipulators manipulate others as a survival mechanism in order to be able to cope with a competitive environment or challenging situations.
He identifies five types of manipulation;
- Negative Manipulation: Criticism, Shaming, Social Exclusion
- Positive Manipulation: Fake friendliness, false promises
- Deception: Lying, unethical shortcuts
- Strategic Helplessness: Guilt Baiting
- Abuse: Intimidation, Emotional Abuse
Drevitch also states that even though manipulation starts as a survival mechanism in competitive and challenging environments, through the years it can become a pathological personality trait and in some cases turn into abuse.
How do you deal with Manipulators?
According to Suzanne Degges-White's article in Psychology Today entitled "How to Handle Manipulators", states that in order to resist any form of manipulation you need to remember:
- Acknowledge your responsibility in causing someone the need to control and therefore manipulate you.
- Set and enforce your Boundaries.
- It is ok to say No.
- Recognize that healthy relationships include give and take.
We are all humans and we all have our flaws.
We are all trying to handle our own battles, daily.
Have the courage to admit your responsibility as well as the patience to understand why the other person feels the need to manipulate you.
We are a work in progress, learning, failing and trying every day!
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